Bitch Sessions: My Body

My torso is too long. My nose is too big and it has a bump in the middle and at the end. My skin keeps breaking out on the right cheek, the left cheek…my forehead…oh fuck it. There are these stupid dark, dark hairs that grow under my chin. My butt is too small and too flat. My thighs feel enormous when I sit down. My body hair grows at the speed of light and I’m perpetually coming up with new ways to deal with the hair on my upper lip. My toes are too long. My right knee looks permanently bruised. The eyelashes at the outside of my right eye refuse to curl. My nailbeds are miniscule and my ribcage is too big.

I could go on and on and on. There are somedays where absolutely nothing looks right. My hair won’t cooperate. I keep finding spots where I missed shaving, or every outfit I try on makes me feel fat. No matter how much moisturizer I’ve used, how hard I’ve worked out that week, or how much sleep I’ve gotten. I just feel ugly.

These are the days where I feel too tall and too fat next to my shorter, daintier friends. These ar the days, I wish my hair was blonde to show more texture. These are the days where I wish my nails were longer so it would actually be worth getting a manicure. These are the days I wish my shoulders fit into shirts that were the right size for my torso. And so it goes…

The thing is, those days happen to literally everyone. And if you think celebrities or all those gorgeous famous people are immune, take a look at the hate they get day in and day out on social media. If you think they never get insecure, you gotta remember they’re human.

That girl with the gorgeous hair sitting in front of you in class? She might wish her long hair wasn’t so damn flat.

That guy with the washboard abs? Maybe he hates that he can’t grow a beard.

That woman with the amazing makeup? She might complain her eyes hape isn’t good enough for eyeliner.

The point is that everybody has their insecurities, EVERYBODY. But honestly what matters is how you rock them. There are certain things that are in your power to eliminate (take THAT, upper lip hair) and certain things that aren’t (my ribcage isn’t getting any smaller), and you have to take those ones you can’t change and own them. Confidence is the only thing that matters in the end.

For example, even though I have bad days, most days, I’m still able to think like this:

I have beautiful eyes with great eyebrows. My lips are proportional to each other and to my face. My ears are small and lie flat. My hair is thick and healthy. I have great legs. My cuticles are perfect. I love my collarbone and I think my breasts are the perfect size. My body can climb, run, swim, and jump with no problem. I think my bellybutton is cute and I like the little moles I have on my body.

And so on and so forth. I know this is a cheesy message but there really is no Instagram model, actor, politician, classmate, parent, friend, or partner that has never had any insecurities about their appearance and honestly, that is a-ok. And if you’re reading this, I just want you to know that there is always more than one perspective and if you find yourself in a negative-hate-yourself fest, remind yourself it’s normal, and then find another perspective.


2 Replies to “Bitch Sessions: My Body”

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