Ah Valentine’s Day. You either love it or you hate it, right?
I myself, actually have pretty mild feelings (for once) about this holiday. It’s never played a huge part in my life whether I was single or in a relationship and as a result, I had never given it much thought. It just sort of passed vaguely under my radar as grocery stores stocked up on flowers and red or pink wrapped chocolates.
But that, my friends, is the problem. Indulge me for a moment in a brief history lesson. Valentine’s day was originally created to honor Valentine of Rome, and Valentine of Terni, both religious martyrs who were revered as Saints. Although there have been feasts on this day for centuries to honor the aforementioned religious figures, the notion of this day being romantic didn’t occur until Chaucer suggested the idea in one of his literary works (remember Geoffrey Chaucer from high school English?)
There are numerous other theories as to how the day became associated with love, but the Chaucer link clearly exists. As Chaucer connected this day to medieval courting, it became customary to give trinkets, confections, and flowers to one’s romantic interest on Valentine’s Day. On the surface, there is nothing wrong with giving your crush or significant other something nice, but let’s be honest, Valentine’s Day isn’t courting anymore, it has turned into a MONEY MAKING MONSTER.
BILLIONS are spent every year on the holiday and the anticipation beforehand can be likened to Christmas. Listicles fill the web offering gift guides for him and for her, date night ideas, restaurants offering deals on wine, etc. Getting a reservation is impossible. Grocery stores have aisles dedicated to heart candies, red balloons, and flowers. Flower shops probably make half their yearly revenue in February alone. It’s insane.
I get it. This holiday is another one that depends on gift giving so it’s only natural for businesses to seize the opportunity to sell us more stuff. But the high stakes of Valentine’s day can only lead to disappointment, and that’s the part that honestly makes me sad. The day has created an enormous amount of pressure on couples to do something over the top for each other on the day and that can be really stressful. People that aren’t in relationships also have to have relationship-themed EVERYTHING thrown in their face for about a month, and finally, what happened to appreciating your partner on every other day of the year?
Who says you can’t have a lovely candlelit dinner on April 10th? Or buy your special someone a cute present just because it reminded you of them on September 27th? The relationship of February 14th to romance is tenuous at best and there is no real reason to give the day any more meaning for your relationship than any other day. Sure, I have bought my boyfriend a little present for today, but I also buy him presents or treat him to dinner on any other day of the year, and he does the same for me.
If anything, I’d recommend creating your own romantic holiday. Maybe your anniversary, or some other day that means something to your relationship because honestly, February the 14th is just an old Saint’s holiday turned into a massive avenue for capitalism and it’s a little sickening.
I sincerely apologize if this article killed anyone’s romantic day (or your libido ;)). Valentine’s day can still be an awesome excuse to celebrate but don’t let it turn into something bigger than it needs to be, and definitely, don’t let it limit your appreciation for your loved ones. Happy V Day!