I don’t make resolutions for New Year’s. The chief reason being because I’m a firm believer in the fact that you don’t have to wait for a new calendar year to make changes or set goals for yourself. It is an arbitrary measurement of time. (I also hate them because many people’s resolutions have to do with getting fit which means the gym is super crowded in January until people start to drop off the wagon – yes I am a scrooge about my gym space.)
HOWEVER, despite my new year’s resolutions misgivings, recently I talked with my friend Jordan, who introduced me to the idea of having a ‘theme’ for the year rather than specific resolutions. In this method, I would pick a theme for myself whether it’s health, consistency, communication, etc, and spend the year devoted to that theme in whatever way I saw fit.
At first, I found this idea unappealing. It felt too broad, and I doubted anyone could use it to truly focus and accomplish anything tangible. But as I thought more about it – I realized that was also the biggest strength of this method. Your theme can be anything – and pursuing it does not have to be a regimented exercise. If your theme is health – that doesn’t mean you’re pursuing a workout routine – it could mean you are pursuing learning about health, or trying different foods, or paying attention to how different sleep patterns affect you. It leaves room for goals that aren’t quite so cut and dry.
So while we keep that idea of themes in mind – the other thing I’d been marinating on recently was a piece of advice from Jeff Bezos for those in business. He says, “‘I very frequently get the question: ‘What’s going to change in the next ten years?’ And that is a very interesting question; it’s a very common one. I almost never get the question: ‘What’s not going to change in the next ten years?’ And I submit to you that the second question is actually the more important of the two – because you can build a business strategy around the things that are stable in time…’”
From Amazon’s perspective, this appears simply. Customers will ALWAYS want their stuff faster, and for less money. That is something that hasn’t changed in ten years and is highly unlikely will change ever so Amazon has built an empire on that idea.
But I think the sentiment can also be applied to life. I often get caught up in what’s next for myself. Where will I move next? What job will I have next? How can I grow? Improve? Change? It never stops. It’s even a common interview question: ‘Where do you see yourself in the next five years?’. And these are all important questions because it is important to know where you’re going – however, I also know that I have figured out a couple things in my short twenty-five years on earth. Things that I never regret doing, things that have consistently brought me joy for years and years already.
So I made a list – I call it my ‘never regret’ list. And I’ve decided my theme for the year will be to increase my focus on those things and to add to that list. Most of these things are not groundbreaking, and I already do a lot of them regularly, but I haven’t been giving them enough credit for how much joy they consistently bring into my life, and I haven’t focused on them in a long time.
So what will this look like? I’m going to make this as easy for myself as possible. I’m going to keep my ‘never regret’ list on my phone and will only need to make sure I accomplish one thing from that list each day. If it’s more than that – great, but I’m not going to beat myself up over this. The second part is that every time I try something new that I enjoy I will write it down in a subsection and make sure I try it again within the same month so that I can start to assess whether the initial enjoyment was due purely to novelty or if I actually enjoyed it and want to incorporate more of it.
We tend to always be looking for something new that will bring us happiness, we spend our hours and dollars on incorporating new objects and trying new methods – all in an effort to feel better day in and day out. But I encourage you to take one small step back and at least take stock of all the things that already bring you joy. The things that have brought you joy for as long as you can remember. Why aren’t we simply finding ways of doing more of those?
For reference: here is my ‘never regret’ list as it stands right now.
I never regret spending time with my family
I never regret watching a movie with my sister
I never regret practicing my Greek
I never regret going for a workout
I never regret going to a workout class
I never regret drinking coffee in the morning
I never regret waking up early
I never regret writing
I never regret visiting a new country/city/neighborhood
I never regret trying a new food
I never regret cooking a new recipe
I never regret cooking for myself
I never regret cooking for others
I never regret buying gifts for others
I never regret reading a book
I never regret going for a walk outside
I never regret swimming in the ocean
I never regret going to bed early
I never regret 1×1 time with a friend
I never regret stretching
I never regret learning how to do something new