Living Up to Your OWN Standards

Every time I read an article about a twelve-year-old who sold an app to google, I die a little inside. Replace that twelve-year-old with a teenager who started a successful company or a young twenty-something who has already achieved millionaire status. It seems like everywhere I look these days, there is somebody younger than me who is vastly more successful and that reminds me just how little I have accomplished in my short twenty-two years on this Earth.

I say to myself ‘what have you been doing, Melina? You could have invented something, made a bunch of money, started a company, saved a species, if you had only tried harder, earlier’ I feel an enormous sense of failure having not done anything that anyone would describe as ‘remarkable’.

This kind of exposure can be tough to take. With social media, you can hear about every hyper-successful up and comer around the world. It is easy to be jealous of their success and to become filled with self-doubt that you’ll never amount to anything because you missed your window or because you believe these types of people are exorbitantly more intelligent or driven than you are.

I suffer from this A LOT. I feel intensely inadequate and like a straight up bum when I read or hear about these kinds of people. Consequently, I’ve had to develop a method to cope with this instead of just giving up on life because I wasn’t a pubescent tech genius.

I’ve boiled it down to the fact that I’m not jealous of these people because they’re successful, rich, famous, or smart. I’m jealous of them because they clearly had a direction. If someone is a world class pianist at the age of 11 or they made a million by 18, they didn’t get there by accident. They believed in a path of life so powerfully that they acted on it and gave their all to it. Those kinds of accomplishments don’t just take hard work and intelligence, they take devotion. To reach the highest echelons of success in a particular area, one has to be devoted to it. And THAT is what I’m jealous of.

For example, I have this friend who is currently finishing up an aerospace engineering degree at MIT. In short, her goal is to be an astronaut. But what is so astounding about her is that she has had this goal FOREVER. She is twenty-one years old, and as far as she can remember, she has had the goal of being an astronaut and has done everything in her power to achieve it. She has direction.

I, on the other hand, don’t have a direction. Sure, I have a great job, hobbies, and friends, but there is not one direction where I would feel comfortable and productive devoting myself to. And that is the part of these peoples’ success that I find myself being envious of. I wish I had a direction for myself because I know that if I had a clear idea of what I wanted to become, I would probably be successful at achieving it. Innately, I realize that aspiring to accomplish the same things as other people is not what I actually want. As cliche as it sounds, I want to be the best version of myself in the end.

In simpler terms, a basketball player would never be jealous of a successful gymnast because they know they have different directions. The basketball player wants to be the best basketball player, not the best at any other sport.

By the same logic, I cannot compare myself to these people I read about online because we don’t have the same goals. I can’t compare myself to the five-year-old boy who performed at Carnegie hall because it was never my goal or direction to become a world class musician. I can’t compare myself to the twenty-six-year-old billionaire founder of Snapchat because it was never my goal to be a tech billionaire (although I wouldn’t say no…). And that is how I have to think. I have to learn to be ok spending this time figuring out a direction and to learn to rely on the idea that when I find my own direction, I’m going to kick. its. ass.

 

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Smile to keep from dwelling on the confusion of your own life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Career Freshman

Many of my friends are graduating soon (SO EXCITING) which means they will be entering the workforce in just a few months. One of the I hardest things for a fresh grad to do is get a job. I know first hand that it is absolutely EXHAUSTING getting a job, and even more so when you’re just out of school and have to prove yourself to everyone.

I know from my own experience how demoralizing it can be to apply to those black hole job portals only to never get a response. Here are my numbers: I applied to almost 100 jobs. I got about 20 phone screenings/interviews. I got about 9 formal interviews. 4 follow up interviews. 3 ACTUAL job offer letters. That comes out to just over a 3% success rate. And I consider myself LUCKY. Finding a good job is HARD, so you’ve got to do whatever is in your power to make sure you find something that doesn’t make you hate your life. There are certain things that can make this process slightly easier and I’ve listed them below:

  • Do your prep work. If you’re reading this and you’re not a senior, then you still have time. Get ANY EXPERIENCE YOU CAN. If you prefer to join societies or clubs at your university, then make sure you have a leadership position or have taken on a lot of responsibility. However, it is even better if you have a few internships under your belt. Many times, companies hire straight from the intern pools, but at the very least, you can actually say you have work experience in a relevant work environment to your field.
  • Apart from prep work, start applying EARLY. Huge companies (Fortune 500, I’m looking at you), hire very early. They are recruiting at colleges constantly, but if you know you’re graduating in the Spring of 2017, for example, the applications for these companies could have deadlines as early as September or October 2016. I know this because I was totally in the dark about this, and when I started applying in January, I realized I had missed my window for those companies, so I’m WARNING you now so you don’t commit the same mistake.
  • Spend time developing a quality Resume and CV. You should adjust your resume and CV to fit whatever job you are applying to. It WILL be time consuming but it’s worth it. You want to make sure your info matches the job description and you show that you fit the position because these documents are often the first look a company gets of you. Unfortunately, what’s worse, is that they spend about 10 seconds on each resume so if you don’t have the buzzwords they’re looking for, you won’t even make it out of HR. HOWEVER, it is MUCH easier to make adjustments for each job if you develop a high quality base Resume and CV to work with.
  • You’re not too good for anything. By all means, apply to the Fortune 500 companies, but don’t consider yourself ‘above’ being an assistant, an associate, or any ‘bottom of the heap’ position. I don’t care what firm you end up at or how welcoming/inclusive they are. You’re the newbie, you’re the inexperienced one and you have to own that. I hate to break it to you, but your degree doesn’t make you special anymore. Unless you have some really great prior experience, you ARE the bottom. However, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Everyone has to start somewhere, just don’t let your arrogance get in the way of what could be some good starting points or opportunities. ProTip: In interviews, say that you are looking for a position that will allow you to learn a lot and improve your skills. Tailor it for the company you want of course, but in saying you look forward to learning and improving, you humble yourself, and show the company that you are willing to work hard and learn about their business.
  • Aim for quantity. Once you have your quality documents as per number three. Just apply, apply, apply. Scour job boards, your college boards, LinkedIn, everywhere. And apply to ALL of them. Apply to anything and everything you can reasonably argue that you’re qualified for. You never know who will respond or who will end up being the right fit. I’m a perfect example, I have a bachelor’s degree in economics and I work as a Software Consultant now. But my company liked my previous experience and the skills my degree gave me. Presto, I work in tech now. You’re only denying yourself opportunities if you limit yourself by position, your degree, or even geography. Don’t be afraid to move or be flexible. A job is a job, and beggars can’t be choosers.

Honestly, the job search is filled with tons of dead ends, unanswered emails, and rejections. I was rejected 97 times and I consider those GOOD odds. So don’t get discouraged when it feels like you’ve applied to every job out there. There are tons of jobs and tons of applicants and everyone is just looking for the right match. Do the work, and something WILL happen for you. Good luck!

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