Early Mornings

I’m awake but I keep my eyes closed. I don’t yet want to break the spell of a peaceful night’s sleep. I feel your warmth next to me, your breathing is calm - you’re still asleep. We moved apart in the night. Easier to sleep for sure, but now that I’m awake, I crave the contact again. I start to shift towards you, but you unconsciously respond and turn over to meet me.

My heart leaps at the closeness and I burrow into you. In this moment, I would crawl inside your skin if I could. However, I quickly realize that I have been overzealous. Although I adore the feeling of being completely surrounded by you, my breathing is harsh, and your chest hair starts to tickle my nose. So I pull back.

I pull back just enough to raise my face up and place it about an inch away from yours. I finally chance opening my eyes. The room is still gray, you keep the blinds closed for optimal sleep, but I can see you in the light that does manage to seep through. I peek through my lashes and see you breathing ever so softly, face completely relaxed. You look unbelievable to me in that moment. Somehow eternal. Then all of a sudden I notice you peeking at me! I immediately close my eyes. I’ve been caught admiring you and a wave of shyness washes over me.

When I finally work up the courage to look at you again, your eyes are closed, as if you had never opened them. I like to think you closed them let me look at you but I also know you may not have been completely awake in the first place. That’s ok though, eventually your eyes open again and this time I don’t look away.

My shyness is gone, I want the intimacy that look brings. Early in the morning, breath mingling, no words exchanged yet in a new day, but already considering one another. We lay there like that for awhile, letting our eyes close again, but letting our hands roam. I run my hands across your back and your neck. When I do it’s like I can feel every one of your nerve endings, living, right next to me. It’s rare we get the space and time and closeness to appreciate the vibrancy of another human life. But being this close to you, early in the morning, I can see it all and you’re a marvel.