Soulmates

The idea of soulmates is something we’re sold early on, at least here in America. The idea that there is this perfect person out there for you and when you find them, everything locks into place. This is sold to us constantly throughout fairytales, movies, and other types of media. I used to not believe in soulmates at all. I thought it was a little ridiculous to believe there was a person that was supposed to do so much - but then I got to thinking - what if your soulmate didn’t have to be romantic? 

The way soulmates are presented to us by external sources is usually in the form of a romantic relationship. You meet the love of your life, you complete each other, the end. 

However, the first definition that comes up when you google the word ‘soulmate’, is that a soulmate is ‘a person ideally suited to another’. And the more I thought about this, I realized I already have a soulmate - my sister. 

Now my sister may not regard me as their soulmate, but I realize that they’re mine. If you’ve met me in person, I usually can’t go too long without bringing them up in someway or another. 

Kiki (my sister’s name, for those of you that didn’t know) - has been around pretty much since I can remember. And although there were definitely times growing up where I didn’t want them around, there was never a time where I felt alone because no matter how much I hated them in that moment - I always had them. 

Growing up, we had typical sibling growing pains. As the older sibling, I was territorial, bossy, unbelievably uptight, and could sometimes be downright vicious to my little sister. But whenever there were situations that made us both uncomfortable, we always knew that we could still rely on one another for support. 

Nowadays, my sister is the most consistent force in my life. I go through phases of talking more or less with friends, colleagues, and romantic interests, but I have interacted with my sister, in some way, every single day, for nearly my entire life. 

We are the first person to hear the other’s ideas and plans that we’re too scared to say aloud or need help forming further. We’re each other’s editors. We support each other in pretty much every endeavor but also are able to be completely up front about when the other one is out of line. We have such a strong commonality in our experiences and tastes that we can pretty much communicate in our own specific way through comparisons to shared forms of media. We are fiercely protective of each other to the outside world, and most of all, we’re always, ALWAYS, there for each other when it comes down to it. 

Many people I know, aren’t that close to their siblings and that makes me unbelievably sad. Maybe our parents did something specific, or maybe we just ended up lucky, but I can’t imagine my life without my sister, Kiki is my soulmate. 

This was an important realization for me, because it took the pressure off my romantic relationships by a huge margin. Of course, if you find a great romantic partner, that person will become hugely important to your life as well. But as a culture, we put so much stock into finding this one right romantic interest to fulfill us, support us, fix us, love us - that we might be overlooking some of the very best relationships we already have. 

Me and Kiki at Warner Brothers Studios; Access to WB and Photo Cred: Clara Yu

*Note: my sister identifies as non-binary, and goes by the pronouns they/them, so that should clarify the article if you were confused at all.